Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage

Rob Green
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Tying the Knot by Rob Green offers soon-to-be-married couples a practical vision of Christ-centered marriage that is realistic, hopeful, and actionable. With homework to help any counselor or couple put crucial lessons into practice, Tying the Knot is a highly relevant premarital counseling book.

This eight-session study guides couples through issues like conflict, expectations, communication, finances, and intimacy, showing how each can be successfully resolved with Christ at the center of the marriage.

Knowing the stresses and needs of a couple in their season of engagement, Green has helpfully designed the study to require a manageable (and healthy) 60 minutes of at-home work per session, with questions and exercises to build communication and intimacy at the end of each chapter.

Tying the Knot also includes an appendix for mentors, making it easy for a married couple, lay leader, or counselor to lead an engaged couple through the book.

Field-tested and recommended by multiple counselors in a thriving counseling practice, Tying the Knot has already guided many couples into a stronger and more joyful union.

Let this eight-week premarital study reorient your life and marriage around Christ, so you both will experience all the blessings of marriage as God designed it.


Rob Green, MDiv, PhD, is the pastor of Counseling and Seminary Ministries at Faith Church (Lafayette, Indiana). He is also a member of the council board of the Biblical Counseling Coalition as well as instructor and counselor at Faith Biblical Counseling. He is the author of Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage; and the minibooks A Father's Guide to Raising Boys; Can We Talk?; Leaving Your Family Behind; Not Tonight Honey; and Reuniting After Military Deployment.

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"Marital love, problem solving, roles and expectations, communication, finances, community, intimacyÑall the issues that every marriage facesÑcan be addressed with self as the center or with Jesus as the center. Whether you're a pastor, counselor, marriage mentor, premarital couple, or married couple, use Tying the Knot to join marriages to the cross. From now on, this is the book I will recommend for premarital and marital counseling."
Bob Kellemen, Author of Gospel-Centered Counseling and Gospel Conversations

"Tying the Knot is a great book for those considering marriage. The topics are highly relevant and the homework will help any counselor or couple to put these crucial lessons into practice. I gladly recommend this book to anyone involved in premarital counseling."
Garrett Higbee, Executive Director of Biblical Soul Care, Harvest Bible Chapel and of the Biblical Counseling Coalition

"Tying the Knot shows the connection between having an amazing Savior and things like communication or budgets. Where it can be easy to fall into mechanistic teaching, Rob Green draws the line from Christ's obedience and provision to our lives. I appreciated his focus on the community of Christ and its importance in marriage. I recommend this book to anyone who is doing premarital counseling."
Elyse Fitzpatrick, Author of Counsel from the Cross

"Dr. Green has provided a resource I didn't know I needed so badly. Green understands two things particularly well: the dynamics of how real people relate and how those dynamics reveal their constant need for Jesus Christ. The practical exercises that flow from these insights will make it easy on counselors helping couples to prepare for marriage."
Jeremy Pierre, Associate Professor of Biblical Counseling & Dean of Students, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

"This book is a marvelous balance of sound theology and wise practical counsel for couples preparing for marriage. Rob Green writes as one who has faithfully shepherded men and women through this delightful process for many years. You will not only fall deeper in love with each other, but deeper in love with Jesus."
Steve Viars, Senior Pastor, Faith Church, Lafayette, IN

"Rob Green has given us a practical, biblical, and Jesus-focused premarital book to use with couples preparing for marriage. If marriage according to Ephesians 5:32 is really designed to put the love of Jesus and his bride (the church) on display, then it stands to reason that we should be talking about Jesus from the very beginning with couples who are preparing for marriage. Rob addresses all the critical areas that need to be covered but does it in a way that keeps coming back to Jesus. For years we've adapted existing material and always felt like something was missing. It wasn't something; it was Someone, and Tying the Knot puts that Someone back where he's supposed to beÑat the center of marriage. There's no better way to help a couple get started right in marriage than to help them see Jesus at the center of it all."
Brad Bigney, Pastor, Grace Fellowship Church, Florence, KY; ACBC certified counselor; conference speaker; author of Gospel Treason

"Even if you never got farther than chapter 1 (Jesus Must Be the Center of Your Life) in Tying the Knot, this book would be well worth reading. But if you continue reading, you'll find treasure piled upon treasure. This book will strengthen not only those just starting out in marriage, but also those who have been married for decades. Read it and be encouraged."
Amy Baker, Ministry Resource Director, Faith Church, Lafayette, IN; author of Picture Perfect

"As you anticipate your wedding, one of life's biggest events, there's no greater gift than a wise friend to help guide you along the pathway of preparation and decision-making. Rob Green serves as your friend on this journey, assisting you to build a foundation for a strong and lasting marriage. In addition to his useful teaching, the practical exercises per chapter, and mentor appendix prove invaluable."
Kevin Carson, Pastor, Sonrise Baptist Church, Ozark, MO; Professor, Baptist Bible College and Theological Seminary, Springfield, MO

"Tying the Knot offers a compelling vision of how Jesus must be central to your life and marriage. Such a vision gives hope, brings relief, and most important, stirs your affections for Christ. Rob, a seasoned husband and pastor, applies timeless gospel truths to matters of the heart while offering practical biblical guidance for those approaching their wedding day and for those married for years. I wholeheartedly recommend Tying the Knot."
Robert K. Cheong, Pastor of Care, Sojourn Community Church, Louisville, KY

"Rob has masterfully woven together three crucial elements for marriage and marriage preparation. Tying the Knot is solidly biblical, immensely practical, and unapologetically Christ-centered. Christian couples, pastors, and lay leaders will be well served in making this book one of their go-to resources for marriage preparation, and the church will be well served by this book for generations to come."
Jack Delk, Pastor for Counseling Ð North Campus, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, MN

"No one on earth truly knows what you will face in marriageÑnot in the details at least. Endless are the possible joys and pains, the trials and circumstances, the sins and graces, the shifts and surprises, the people who will come and go. Everything will change. Preparing for this is a serious task. Rob Green offers a kind of preparation for marriage that does not center upon the ever-shifting circumstances of life, but upon the Lord Jesus Christ and upon his everlasting Word. Tying the Knot labors to orient you around the Person who will be there, who knows what will come, who is faithful and mighty, and who will give you manifold wisdom for the endless possibilities of marriage."
John Henderson, Associate Pastor, Del Ray Baptist, Alexandria, VA

"One of the most neglected areas of counseling in the life of the church has to be premarital counseling. Often seen as a perfunctory hurdle to jump through, premarital counseling can quickly become stale and mechanical. Rob Green has provided the church an excellent new resource for premarital counseling that is biblically-saturated, Christ-centered, and clearly written. From the discussion questions at the end of each chapter to the guide for mentors in the back, this book is a perfect blend of theology for real life."
Jonathan Holmes, Pastor of Counseling, Parkside Church, author of The Company We Keep

"I would have loved to read this book with my wife while we were engaged. So practical, so wise. Engaged couples, listen carefully to Rob Green."
Andy Naselli, Assistant Professor of New Testament and Biblical Theology, Bethlehem College & Seminary, Minneapolis, MN

"Rob Green has provided us with a wonderful new gospel-centered resource to help engaged couples prepare for marriage. This book repeatedly emphasizes that marriage is founded upon God's love for us in Christ and is filled with personal examples and practical illustrations that come from years of faithful biblical counseling. One of the best qualities of Tying the Knot is its brevity. Rob covers the most important issues succinctly so that a busy engaged couple should have sufficient time to complete this study and the homework assignments in the months leading up to marriage. Another unique feature is that Rob has gone to extra effort (including an appendix) to make it easy for a mentor couple to work through this material with an engaged couple. I am sure that the Lord will use this book to bless many and I look forward to using it with many couples in the future."
Jim Newheiser, Executive Director, The Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship (ICBD)

"Premarital counseling is needed now more than ever in our culture. The scourge of unhappy marriages and so-easy divorce has led many to believe that marriage is an institution that is no longer workable. Tying the Knot is a hope-filled, theologically sound, 'you can do marriage God's way and here's how'; manual. Green's careful unpacking of key Scriptures coupled with practical application assignments makes this book a winner. It is intended as a premarital counseling manual, but it would also be helpful for small group study or a sermon-series primer. Get it and use it!"
Randy Patten, Director of Training and Advancement, The Association of Certified Biblical Counselors

"There has long been a need for a solid premarital counseling curriculum that roots everything in Scripture, is realistic about the joys and challenges of marriage, and most importantly makes Christ central to everything. Rob Green's Tying the Knot accomplishes this, and offers much, much more."
Deepak Reju, Pastor of Biblical Counseling and Family Ministry, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC; author of The Pastor and Counseling and On Guard; President of the Board, Biblical Counseling Coalition

"Companies have start-up manuals that they require you to read and follow when beginning a new job. Yet when it comes to starting one of the most important human relationshipsÑmarriageÑmany do not seek or even know to seek guidance and preparation from above for what is ahead. Rob has contributed a tremendous resource for the caring of souls in the church where new marriage engagements are concerned. Tying the Knot is Christ-centered, biblically-based, and easy to comprehend. This book comprehensively addresses the key issues in beginning and growing a marriage and would be invaluable for anyone embarking on their marital journey. I highly recommend this to pastors, counselors, young couples, and even as a refresher for married couples."
Stuart W. Scott, Professor of Biblical Counseling, The Master's College

"Dr. Rob Green's succinct and timely resource, Tying the Knot, helps couples strengthen their relationships with each other and with Christ as they work with a mentor to align their goals for the future with the biblical wisdom found in God's Word. The well-planned discussion questions in each chapter, the outline of the book, and the very helpful 'Just for the Mentors' section are but three of the great aspects of this book that will be much appreciated by pastors and all those who conduct premarital counseling."
Mark E. Shaw, Pastor and Executive Director, Vision of Hope; author of The Heart of Addiction and Addiction-Proof Parenting

"How does God minister his grace through you to another one of his children in marriage? In a culture of self, where can one get guidance for a Savior-focused marriage? Tying The Knot, Rob Green provides a biblical, Christ-centered, practical, hope-filled tool to assist individuals in learning how to partner with Christ to become instruments of his grace to their spouses."
A. Charles Ware, President of Crossroads Bible College; coauthor of Just Don't Marry One and Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling"

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13 Reviews

  • 5
    Tying the Knot has been my go to for the past 5 or 6 years.

    Posted by Matt on 04 10 2023

    About an hour ago, I just finished the third session of premarital counseling using this helpful guide. The Thoroughly Biblical and accessible. The discussion questions are especially helpful to guide the couple through their reading and working through the material. Very practical and wise teaching comes through clearly as you work thought this material. Try out Tying the Knot, you won't regret it.

  • 5
    I would highly recommend it to anyone engaged.?

    Posted by The Talbert Report on 03 18 2016

    Marriage is taken very lightly at times, but if people would read a book like this with a mentor and actually do the work, I believe they would either realize they aren’t ready for marriage or they would know how to make it through the rough spots easier. Each chapter has incredible advice that lines up with scripture. Then there is homework, which includes things like action steps, thinking about your past, memorizing scripture, praying for your fiance, and the author suggests other books that could be helpful on this journey. I think this is one of the best books on premarital advice I have read. I would highly recommend it to anyone engaged.?

  • 5
    Definitely a great read for all couples!?

    Posted by The Librarian’s Bookshelf on 03 17 2016

    While I did receive this book after my husband and I got married, we are only recently married so we still enjoy reading marriage advice books. This one is a great option for those who aren’t able to participate in marriage counseling! While I highly recommend marriage counseling, I understand it’s not an option for everyone. This book covers all of the important points that traditional marriage counseling covers, and you can read it at your own pace! Definitely a great read for all couples!?

  • 5
    Very easy to read

    Posted by Our Perfectly Imperfect Life! on 03 15 2016

    Tying the Knot by Rob Green is very easy to read, while at the same time having that in-depth premarital counseling guide.?Mr. Green also stresses on how important the relationship with Christ in each person’s life.The ONLy relationship that should be more important than the one between a husband and wife.?

  • 5
    A wonderful little handbook for premarital counseling

    Posted by Perfect Beginnings on 03 15 2016

    This little book is a wonderful little handbook for premarital counseling, it would be great for Pastor’s to have on hand or an engaged couple to go through on their own. I like how the book is divided in between 9 session making it perfectly doable and very essential for a young couple preparing for marriage. This book handles a lot of the big issues that soon to be married couples really need to discuss and get on the same page about, issues like communication. finances, etc. In a world rift with divorce this book is a good resource to help couples get their journey started out on a firm foundation. I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.?

  • 5
    I think this will make a great gift for a couple who wants a Christ-Centered marriage.?

    Posted by Frugal Shopping and More on 03 15 2016

    I really feel that premarital counseling should be required for anyone planning on getting married, in order to learn how to deal all the issues that will surely come up. The book recommends using a spiritual mentor to help you in areas you may not be aware you need help in. While every chapter is filled with great advice and some homework to do, I especially liked the homework discussion questions in the chapter on finances. I sure would have appreciated having a mentor help us with finances. I think this will make a great gift for a couple who wants a Christ-Centered marriage.?

  • 5
    A complete guide to premarital counseling with Christ at the center!?

    Posted by Thinking Thoughts on 03 14 2016

    A complete guide to premarital counseling with Christ at the center!?I really enjoyed this book. I feel like Rob did a great job of outlining each chapter and making it understandable for couples. He touched on super important topics like finances, conflict, church community, and many other things. The best part, in my opinion, is how Jesus-central it was! I felt like he did a great job keeping everything solidly rooted in scripture.?If you are a counselor, looking to be a mentor for premarital counseling, or interested in premarital counseling for you and your significant other, this is definitely the book for you. You can rest assured the advice will be sound, the conversation stimulating, and the guidance always toward the Lord and His plan for marriage.?

  • 4
    This is a small book, and an easy read that is short in duration.

    Posted by Through The Open Window on 03 14 2016

    This is a small book, and an easy read that is short in duration. It focuses on Christ centered marriage. This book focuses on how to have a strong marriage that is centered on Biblical principles and Christ. It says, “A Premarital Guide to a Strong & Lasting Marriage,” but it is more than that. One need not be engaged or even newly married to gain from this book. Even if you are not married, it can help you in choosing a life partner. On the flip side, if you have been married several years you can still gain a great deal if insight and thought from this. I could even see it helping those who are going through marital trouble.?

  • 5
    Easy-to-read yet in-depth premarital counseling guide

    Posted by Christian Chick on 03 14 2016

    Tying the Knot is an easy-to-read yet in-depth premarital counseling guide. Each chapter focuses on one area of marriage: love, communication, conflict, etc. Author Rob Green also stresses the importance of each person’s relationship with Christ—the one relationship that should be more important than the one between spouses.?Each chapter ends with discussion questions that, if taken seriously, can draw a couple closer together, as well as reveal potential relationship problems. This is a great guide for a couple preparing for marriage.?

  • 5
    Easy to read yet deep and full of excellent Biblical advice

    Posted by Books, Beautiful Books on 03 12 2016

    This book was easy to read yet deep and full of excellent Biblical advice!?I have read several books of this nature so didn’t know how much I would benefit from this book. This one has basic essentials as well as fresh wisdom which will help any young- or older- person before marriage.?As an unmarried person, I loved reading this book and hope it will help me if I ever marry. As and after reading this book I was inspired to have a better idea and Biblical understanding of the reason and joy of marriage. I do recommend this book for dating/courting, and/or engaged couples. Go through this book carefully and prayerfully, discussing every chapter and you will definitely benefit from it!?

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