Relationships: A Mess Worth Making will inspire you to embrace the challenges and joys of community, whether you’re navigating the ups and downs of marriage, friendships, or family dynamics.
Every relationship has the potential to be difficult, but if you are willing to do the work, it’s often worth the effort. Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp dive deep into the complexities of human connections, offering a gospel-centered perspective on navigating the messiness of relationships. Through relatable stories, thought-provoking questions, and actionable advice, the authors guide readers to see relationships as opportunities for personal growth and spiritual transformation.
Whether you’re dealing with conflict, forgiveness, or the challenges of communication, Relationships provides practical wisdom and biblical truths to help you build stronger, healthier, and more meaningful connections with others. Perfect for individuals, couples, or small groups, it’s a must-read for anyone seeking to grow in grace and love. This is not just a book about fixing relationships—it’s about seeing them as a reflection of God’s redemptive work in our lives.
"This book is not just another simplistic manual on relationships, offering theoretical methods and procedures for arriving at someone else's ideas of a model relationship. Instead, Tim Lane and Paul Tripp have written about Christ crucified—the power of God and the wisdom of God for redeeming relationships. Destined to radically transform multitudes of families and friendships, their wisdom is based on the Rock, and the Rock is very sound."
Bob Inglis, Member of the US House of Representives, South Carolina's 4th district (SC-4)
"Paul Tripp and Tim Lane bring deep Christ-centered thought and broad counseling experience to their writing, offering fresh hope and practical answers to people in less-than-perfect relationships. Paul and Tim are men who love our Savior, his Word, and the Spirit, so it is with the utmost confidence that I recommend their writing."
Elyse Fitzpatrick, Author and speaker; Director of Women Helping Women
"What a wonderful and helpful book! It will make a major difference in your life and the lives of everybody you love. Read this and you will want to be my friend for recommending it to you."
Steve Brown, Key Life radio broadcaster; author of Three Free Sins and Hidden Agendas
"Lane and Tripp provide us with invaluable help for unraveling the complexities of relating to others. Avoiding trite and complicated techniques so common in other books, these gifted authors remind us that transforming our own hearts is the key to transforming our relationships."
Robert Jeffress, Pastor and author of Second Chance, Second Act
"Apart from loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, nothing matters more to God than how we love one another. So many of us settle for too little—for superficial, safe relationships in our marriages, our families, and our churches. I am so glad that Paul and Tim have written a book to guide us into deeper, richer relationships. I pray we'll have the courage to follow their counsel."
Bob Lepine, Cohost, FamilyLife Today
"Relationships are messy! But Paul and Tim show readers how to clean up their old and neglected relationships to where they sparkle and shine like new. Relationships: A Mess Worth Making is perfect for anyone who's ever had a mother, a father, a husband, a wife, a friend, a neighbor, a dog, a cat . . . ."
Doug Herman, Author of Time for a Pure Revolution and founder of Pure Revolution Conference
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Very helpful. Very practical. Timothy Lane always goes to the heart of problems and Jesus is the only one who can transform hearts. This is a book for everyone. It puts a Biblical perspective into every relationship we have. Within the book there is help for conversations, apologies, forgiveness, mercy, how to use your time and money, and much more. Each chapter is gospel-saturated. This book helps define the problem AND offers the only biblical solution--Christ and Him crucified. This would be a great book for small groups to read and the church as a whole.
In all honesty, I didn't finish the book but I gave it a friend whose marriage was in trouble & she read it, then she & her husband read it together & it helped them reconcile their marriage. Then they let their sister borrow it to help her marriage & it worked for her so now another family member is reading it. So this book along with the power of GOD through prayer has done great things in the lives of those who read it!
Relationships: A Mess Worth Making (2006), by Timothy Lane and Paul Tripp was a required book for a class I am taking through the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation. I had previously read Tripp and Lane's How People Change, which was a very good book, so I was looking forward to this one as well. This one surpassed my expectations. As the title would suggest, this book explores the mess of relationships and why we should pursue them anyway. They rightly demonstrate that relationships are often difficult and, given enough time, all relationships will likely show strain. However, they suggest that "God keeps us in messy relationships for His redemptive purpose" (page 11). In the midst of struggle, it is often difficult to see God's work at hand, but it is. Exploring topics such as sin, forgiveness, and mercy, the authors provide examples of moving in the rhythms of life with one another. In many ways, this book was reminiscent of the things that I have been reading from Dr Larry Crabb. The idea of "relational sin" would not be foreign to these authors and this book would serve as an excellent addition to the libraries of those who believe that relationships are a mess worth making.
This book provides a new and fresh perspective on our relationships: I enjoyed it more than I had anticipated. This is not an easy topic. Human relationships are easily the most difficult thing we navigate, but this book treats it gently. I found myself meditating for a long time on various points. Its strength lies in its close reference to scripture.
This is more than a book on relationships, it's a book on discipleship and how being a follower of Christ impacts your relationships. If you are looking for a how-to book filled with checklists and action steps, this is not your book. But if you want a book that will stretch you, challenge your thinking, and help you live out your faith in the daily context of your relationships, then this book is for you. I found many of the chapters to be helpful -- particularly the authors' descriptions of forgiveness (c.9), encouragement (p.112-116), and mercy (c.12). The final chapter challenges the reader toward a kingdom ministry that steps into the messiness of the world around us, serving others as worship.
Relationships are, indeed, messy; yet they are also worthwhile. This book does a good job of biblically sorting through relationship issues, particularly in helping the reader deal with his or her own contribution to the relationship (versus fixing others). I found the section in chapter nine on forgiveness and reconciliation to be the most valuable part of the book, personally. The authors clarified a sticky issue here.
This book makes a lot of sense on understanding everyday situations dealing with all sorts of relationships. One thing I've learned from this book is that nobody is perfect and always expect the unexpected.
My counselor suggested that I read this book. I'm glad that I did. I am not an especially social person though I have come to the realization that I need me and deeper relationships for my own health and to accomplish my mission in life. Frankly, my own personal gain from relationships just hasn't been compelling enough to act on. That said, reading this compelling account of what God's desire for our relationships is has been a strong encouragement to me to invest more of my time and resources into other people. The book also outlines the challenges with relationships and a Godly approach to transcending them. Here comes the hard part - putting it into action!
Very helpful. Very practical. Timothy Lane always goes to the heart of problems and Jesus is the only one who can transform hearts. This is a book for everyone. It puts a Biblical perspective into every relationship we have. Within the book there is help for conversations, apologies, forgiveness, mercy, how to use your time and money, and much more. Each chapter is gospel-saturated. This book helps define the problem AND offers the only biblical solution--Christ and Him crucified. This would be a great book for small groups to read and the church as a whole.
