The control freak. The angry man. The lazy guy. The unteachable guy. The promiscuous man. The unbeliever. The lone ranger. The unchurched guy. The new convert. The commitment-phobe.
For any woman who has struggled with failed relationships, this may seem like a familiar list. These are the men your friends and family have in mind when they think, "she's with the wrong guy." And while the reasons women choose these types of men are complicated and varied, ultimately, they will all let you down.
In She's Got the Wrong Guy, Deepak Reju offers a different kind of dating book, discussing the types of guys women should not marry and offering biblical reasons why they aren't suitable spouses. Writing from his years of experience as a pastor and counselor, Reju shares with women his perspective on how to assess a relationship's strengths from the beginning, how to identify possible pitfalls, and how to have the courage to wait for a relationship that will be a blessing for both of you. Using stories that single women can relate to and highlighting contemporary issues in the modern world of dating, Reju gives readers clear, biblical direction on how to have positive, life-giving relationships with members of the opposite sex.
With a strong, Christ-centered focus, women will better understand why they "settle" for less than what God intends for their romantic relationships and learn to put their hopes and find their happiness in Jesus, not marriage.
"As a biblical counselor and a woman who didn't marry until age forty-two, I've seen many of my beloved single friends make choices regarding dating and marriage they later came to regret. It's my hope that the heartache experienced by many single women will be averted because of the wisdom Deepak offers in this book. Whether you're a single woman or not, you'll find this book is for you because it's all about being grounded in Christ."
Amy Baker, Ministry Resource Director, Faith Church; Counselor at Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries; author of Picture Perfect and Getting to the Heart of Friendships
"Deepak has written a much-needed word to single women which is full of biblical truth and wisdom. His wealth of experience has given him the ability to write with understanding and conviction as he encourages young women to pursue Christ, patiently trust God's plan, and depend on his grace while they wait on him. I highly recommend this book full of prudent warnings, poignant examples and godly counsel to single women."
David and Sally Michael, Cofounder of Children Desiring God
"Dr. Reju has turned the topic of dating on its head with this insightful and thoughtful look at who not to marry. As a seasoned counselor and brother in Christ, he walks single Christian women through a methodical process of considering the dangers of settling. Using compelling case studies, Deepak carefully leads them to consider many biblical factors that are sometimes swept away as insignificant while encouraging smart women to be patient in waiting for God's best."
Mary K. Mohler, President's Wife, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; Director of Seminary Wives Institute
"With the wisdom that comes from hours and hours of counseling brokenhearted women, the biblical insight that springs from years in the Scriptures, and the compassion that flows out of the heart of a follower of Jesus, Deepak has written a sensitive and important book for women who want to be married and might be tempted to settle for someone . . . anyone . . . who will take away the loneliness. Sisters, if you're considering who you should date (and ultimately marry), let me encourage you to read this book first and to take Deepak's counsel to heart. He loves the Lord and his words are true."
Elyse Fitzpatrick, Author of Counsel from the Cross: Connecting Broken People to the Love of Jesus
"As I read She's Got the Wrong Guy, I kept thinking, 'This book is like a modern-day book of Proverbs written by a father to his young adult daughter.' Pastor Deepak Reju writes with compassionate gospel-centered, proverbial wisdom relevantly applying God's truth to the vital topic of singleness, dating, and marriage. This is the book that I'll be recommending to single women."
Bob Kellemen, Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries; author of Gospel-Centered Counseling: How to Care Like Christ
"She's Got the Wrong Guy is a wonderful book. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It is very God-honoring, practical, engaging, and convicting. I already know several women who could benefit from this book including my five granddaughters. As a biblical counselor to women, this book is an exceptional resource. I highly recommend it."
Martha Peace, Author of The Excellent Wife and Biblical Counselor
"Deepak Reju's She's Got the Wrong Guy peeks into many kinds of marriage misery. He describes how and why many Christian women choose poorly. Wise single women will read and be grateful for his astute observations and ability to pinpoint why these wrong guys might seem right and why smart Christian women should avoid them."
Susan Olasky, Senior Writer, World Magazine
"Page by page of She's Got the Wrong Guy is full of convincing and convicting truth. Shared through stories, women will find the content exceptionally relatable. The book precisely conveys what a mature view of relationship should look like and why it desperately matters. It is a book for singles and a book for those in relationship who want solid biblical guidance."
Eliza Huie, Biblical Counselor at Life Counseling Center, Marriottsville, Maryland; author of Raising Teens in a Hyper-Sexualized World
"Deepak Reju has given us single women an engaging book full of relatable dating dilemmas and biblical wisdom for help. He identifies common warning signs that are not typically discussed in a Christian book on dating. Whether you're having doubts about a relationship or need encouragement to prioritize God's standards, read this book and share it with others."
Lilly Park, Counselor and Adjunct Professor
"This is a book that should have been written years ago. Gratefully, it's here in time for our four daughters, and you can be sure we will be reading this biblically wise and practical treatment with all of them. Single men, too, might read it to discover the kind of man parents like us pray for daily."
Jonathan and Shannon Leeman, Editorial director for 9Marks
"Tired of waiting for the right man to come along? Weary of delaying 'wedded bliss?' Are you tempted to redefine love so you can accommodate a lesser man in an okay marriage? Don't you dare. The cosmic stakes are too high and your life is too precious to settle for a second-best marriage. If you're looking for the emotional strength to wait well on God's man, my friend Deepak Reju has written the perfect guide in this remarkable book you hold in your hands. I give it a big double-thumbs up!"
Joni Eareckson Tada, Joni and Friends International Disability Center
"This book is important for women who are dating, but it also for their good friends who want to help, for men who don't want to be the wrong guy, and for anyone who loves someone who will be dating. Your pastor will be Deepak. He will speak to you like a father as you carefully con;sider one of life's most consequential decisions."
Ed and Sheri Welch, Counselor & Faculty Member CCEF; author
"There are very few books out there that deserve the 'must-read' status, and this is one of them. I want all of the single ladies in our church and our daughters to read this book. Deepak's wise counsel is both urgent and timely. Applying the principles in this book will certainly spare a whole lot of people unnecessary pain and lead readers to a greater understanding of what it means to make Jesus the center of everything."
Gloria Furman, Author of Missional Motherhood and Alive in Him
"This now, is the book I'll be recommending for single women who long for marriage. With tough but loving truth, Deepak disciples single women with pastoral care and brotherly protection in one of the best books I've read regarding dating and singleness. Every single man who desires to marry should read it too, as it's a roadmap for transformation into being a godly boyfriend and a Christ-like husband, or not."
Ellen Mary Dykas, Women's Ministry Director, Harvest USA; author/editor of Sexual Sanity for Women and Sex and the Single Girl
Good. Written for women but still presents good application. Reju applies the ideas of the sufficiency of Christ and His Word very well to complex relationship situations. Additionally, he emphasises the idea of God's grace which extends to everything.
This should be required reading for ALL single Christian women. Seriously, so many women (myself included) need the encouragement and the tough love given in this book. Nothing is shied away from, and the blunt, straightforward, biblical advice to not compromise on the standard set for us by a God Who is Wisdom, but rather to wait in faith (whether that’s for a season or for a lifetime) is such a needed encouragement and reminder. One of the best books I’ve ever read on the topic!
Tremendous read that should be required reading in every teen girl class in church. I have seen the evidence of smart women settling and the writer nails down 10 of the kinds of men to mark and avoid. Reading this would be most helpful to any woman but heeding this council could change the entire trajectory of your life if you will simply refuse to settle.
The reason I am giving this book 4 stars instead of 5 is because of the title. I feel like the title might lead you to think that the reader themselves has it all together when in actuality you and I are in need of humility, repentance, and grace. Aside from that, I believe this book is full and rich. It was like sitting down for many chats with a wiser friend. It was more than just a "how to date" but a resetting of how to view singleness and the desire for marriage in light of our hope in Christ. It included many stories and wisdom surrounding how to interpret and respond to some of the situations/patterns you may encounter in dating relationships. Overall, I'm grateful this book was written and reccomended to me.
I purchased this book mostly because of curiosity. After two failed marriages and several bad dates, I figured it couldn’t hurt to more closely examine the TYPE of people I’ve allowed in my life. I really enjoyed how this book was so straightforward and said it so honestly. It’s written for women but could very well benefit a man and provide direction on his role in relationships as well. The book provides several very good examples on how each person acts or should act in a relationship and why their marriage would fail (not addressing issues before marriage or assuming marriage or other life events will “change” that person). GREAT, easy read, and I learned a lot about myself and others in the process. Highly recommend if you are dating “on purpose” or dating with the INTENTION of marriage.
I loved this book and I highly recommend it to any single Christian woman or man. For women, an excellent guide to use when searching for Mr. Right. For men, a check list to be sure that you are on the right track to becoming Mr. Right.
This book is full of Biblical truth. I hope my daughter reads this book when she gets older and analyzes her own heart and motivation for desiring marriage and can recognize red flags in “fools.” :) I would like to nuance the list of ten men and add #11: the man who’s married to mom (the mother-enmeshed-man syndrome) and #12 the man with a personality disorder
I liked the book. It was helpful and useful. Reinforced some things, made other clear. Stories were drawn out but helped put things into perspective.
I stumbled across this book when looking for help for my daughter who seemed stuck in a bad relationship. I found it deeply gospel-driven and Scripture rich while it gave really practical clarity not only on what a woman should look for in a prospective husband but also how she should gauge her own heart’s longings in dating relationships. The chapter on Breaking Up for the Glory of God was hopeful and refreshing. I highly recommend Deepak’s book for any woman wanting to honour God in her choice of a husband.
I love layout and tone of the book. It was an easy read for me. I did not want to put the book down. This book was bought for me and I have since bought the book for others to read. I highly recommend this book.