Singleness

Understanding Singleness from a Christian Perspective

Singleness can be seen as something to ditch in favor of marriage as quickly as possible, a season of personal growth, or even a lifetime calling. In truth, it is simply a circumstance of life that offers challenges and blessings, opportunities to grow in love for God and others, as we are called to do no matter our circumstances.

There are many struggles to face as a single person, not least of which is loneliness, but there are also particular benefits to being single. In his letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul encourages believers to fully embrace their single status to devote themselves to the Lord's work. Today that may look like choosing to go into full-time ministry of some sort. Or it may simply mean reframing your singleness as being, not a disappointing or frustrated life path but an opportunity to offer friendship, hospitality, encouragement, and support to others more broadly than you would be able to when your primary relational obligation is to a spouse and perhaps children.

Singleness is not a lesser state or a waiting period but a time for the same purposeful living, sanctification, and spiritual growth that married people should pursue. So read those books on being a single Christian, explore the questions addressed by our minibooks, and most importantly, keep growing closer to Christ and learning to be more like him. After all, he knows what living as a single person is like. He lived his entire life as one.

Building Healthy Christian Relationships

In pursuing any type of relationship, Christians are called to “love your neighbor as yourself.” But what does that look like in reality? Below are some foundational principles that underpin healthy Christian relationships and lay the foundation for deep and meaningful connection with other people.

Communication

From the very beginning in Genesis, we see that our God is a God who speaks. He spoke the universe into being, he walked and talked with Adam and Eve in the garden, and when they had sinned and were hiding from him, he called to them and drew them back into conversation. It is not surprising then that communication lies at the heart of any thriving relationship, yet communication issues often lie at the heart of our relationship struggles. It is also not surprising that overcoming communication issues also requires coming out of hiding our sin and vulnerability, learning to speak the truth to one another in love, and building relationships where we can learn and grow together into the image of Christ. 

Trust

Where there is open communication, there must also be trust. God has assured us through Christ’s sacrifice that we are safe to bring our hearts to him and find, not condemnation, but love. As a result, we have freedom to offer that safety to others, that place of trust where they can open their hearts and also find love rather than condemnation. This takes time to build and can easily be eroded by our own failures to love, but it should be our goal in any Christian relationship, whether with a friend, family member, or romantic partner, to be trustworthy and to build trust.

Mutual respect

MutuaI respect is not a given in any relationship, but a healthy relationship with any depth requires it. If you do not or cannot respect another person, it is unlikely you will ever develop trust or good communication with that person. And if someone does not or cannot respect you, it is unlikely you will trust or want to communicate with them. It is possible, however, to treat someone with respect, even if you do not agree with their beliefs or choices. It can be extremely difficult, but the God who made both of you in his image and fills you with his love can empower you to do it. So make every effort to treat others with dignity and respect, as fellow image-bearers of God, and pray for God to help you see others as he sees them.