In Marriage Matters by Winston T. Smith, readers find a hopeful resource on the transcendent purposes of God at work in their marriages. This powerful, transformative book addresses the extraordinary way God works in the seemingly mundane moments in a marriage. By offering practical help and biblical insight, Marriage Matters helps couples consider their own expectations and reactions when things go wrong.
Change begins with seeing day-to-day interactions from a different perspective, taking simple steps to love each other more effectively, and then learning how to take those steps over and over again. Interactions that used to devolve into pointless annoyances and fights can become an opportunity for God's activity and love to become increasingly evident and powerful. The principles in this book will take your marriage to extraordinary places and lead you into a deeper relationship with an extraordinary God.
Don't settle for an ordinary marriage. Learn to live out God's extraordinary love in your most intimate relationship.
"Winston Smith shows us how the transcendent purposes of God are at work in the midst of the seemingly mundane moments of our marriage. There is perhaps no greater garden in which the fruit of the Spirit grows in our lives than the garden of our marriage. Winston helps us see how God is at work in every aspect of our marriage to bring our need for His grace in our lives to the surface and, in the process, to conform us to the image of His Son."
Bob Lepine, Cohost, FamilyLife Today
"Marriage Matters is a biblical look at the spiritually formative aspects of marriage; true to Scripture, insightful, and convicting in all the right ways. Winston Smith has written a fine volume on the way God uses marriage to shape our souls."
Gary Thomas, Author of Sacred Marriage and Pure Pleasure
"Marriage Matters is a helpful resource for couples to understand God's purposes for marriage as well as to think through their own expectations and reactions when things go wrong. I especially liked Section 2 where the practical application of biblical truths was fleshed out in specific ways. The chapter, 'Person or Object, Honor or Manipulation,' should be mandatory reading for every married person."
Leslie Vernick, Counselor; speaker; author of How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship
"Life is made of moments, and what makes a marriage successful is learning how to see the beauty in each, even the ordinary ones. In Marriage Matters, Winston Smith provides the tools every husband and wife need to make the moments in their marriage turn into a lifetime of extraordinary memories. A great read."
Dr. Tim Clinton, President of the 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors; author of Before a Bad Goodbye and The Marriage You've Always Wanted
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If you are looking for a book that gives you a reason to be steadfast in your marriage, no matter the issues,this is it. You find the example in relationship with Christ that will give purpose to your marriage.
This is one of the best books I have read on marriage. It is packed full of insightful wisdom, and I thoroughly appreciated how it causes one to focus on their own imperfections and learning how to improve themselves if they want their marriage to improve.
When I began reading this book , my husband and I had been married for 19 years . As I learned and was challenged by what I was reading in this book : agape love , honor , respect , and forgiveness , etc., we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary . I would recommend this book to anyone who is willing to be challenged to grow in their marriage , no matter the number of years you've been married . If you are the only one desiring growth , I would encourage you to read this and study the accompanying Scripture verses that apply to your part of the relationship . Finally , because God hates divorce , this book encourages you to focus on building up your spouse; giving without unrealistic expectations; don't give satan a foothold to lead you down that road . (For my husband and I , when trials come , we trust our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to carry us through . Not allowing "d" to ever be an option, has also been one of the blessings in our marriage . ) Yes, this author does touch on abusive relationships , that sometimes are unable to survive , even after counseling and outside help . However , the spirit and focus of this book is that every marriage (between a man and a woman ) matters , every single day , in joys and trials , too. I personally learned some things that I had forgotten over the years . I'm planning to look for and read additional books that will encourage me to continually seek to be the wife my husband needs me to be . In every season of our marriage , I want the Lord to bless our marriage !
This is an absolutely great book! Making the most of my marriage through the ordinary moments is something I struggle with and I feel Winston helped to put things in perspective for me. I read this book in conjunction with my Bible by looking up verses and praying for their application in my life. Needless to say, God delivered! I'm hoping to lead a small group study on this book in the coming months, too.
I am a bit OCD and when I set my mind on something I want to read all about it. I started barefoot running so I read books about it. Weight lifting... read books about it. Considering adoption... guess what...that's right, read books about it. Marriage was no exception, and after 10 years I have read dozens of books on the subject. This book is the best I've read hands down. As a Christian I specially appreciated the Christ centered views. Smith's biblical counseling background enriches his examples, illustrations and insight. His writing is relevant, incisive and still, easy to read. This book is applicable to every relationship, I caught myself thinking about my difficult relationship with my mother more than once. It is sad that the book hasn't received the PR work it deserves. It is truly a hidden jewel and I'm sure I'll read it many times more and use it for ministry. In my opinion it contains everything you need to learn how to do marriage and more importantly, to help you glorify God through the ups and downs of your life together.
This is a wonderful book about marriage. The best my wife and I have read so far. Winston Smith is a counselor and faculty member at CCEF, and sets out to lend his expertise in marriage counseling. He writes about marriage in the ordinary moments, after the hourly butterfly feelings leave, and when life consists if coming home from work and figuring out how to juggle relationships and daily activities without feeling defeated. Ordinary moments reveal our problems with God. They show that we don’t trust him as much as we should, or we don’t love him like we think we do. This book isn’t full of cute, pithy sayings and applications. Instead, it looks behind the issues. Smith starts off by recalling a story where he was preparing for a Bible study that night while waiting for his wife to arrive home from a wedding shower (or so). The issue at hand is Smith needs to leave the house soon, but he won’t have time to bring the kids to soccer/dancing/football practice. Yet his wife can’t seem to pick up the phone when he calls. So, of coursed, stressed, he gets agitated. Yet he admits he never once considered that something bad may have happened to her. There may actually be a reason she hasn’t answered his phone calls. Worse yet, Smith isn’t trusting God. He’s more focused on himself and doing well at the Bible study than he is concerned about his wife and family. Smith’s honesty about him and his wife bring personality to the book, as life can bring as many (or more) bad days as good. And the Smiths aren't afraid to admit that. He looks behind the problems that arise in a marriage, shows what’s going on, what’s wrong, and how we can look to Christ for true understanding. Smith covers topics like be honest with yourself and your spouse, conflict (how it can be and is good), forgiveness, intimacy, how your actions make a difference, and more. There are sixteen chapters in all, but only two are three are fairly long. Most are easy to read in one sitting (even better out loud with your spouse). Highly recommended. I'd give this book 6 stars if I could.
I like Smith's approach, tracing the root cause of many relationship issues to deficiencies in our relationship with God. Want a better relationship with your spouse? Work on you first. Be a better Jesus follower and your marriage has its best chance to improve. At the very least, you will become a better spouse, better able to handle whatever comes your way. I dock one star because I think Smith puts too much emphasis on confronting. Applied carefully and prayerfully, confrontation is required in some cases. My fear is that Smith's presentation will be misused by some readers as an excuse to fight.
My husband and I have not finished this book yet, but we have been extremely pleased with what we have read. We were looking for something that did more than just explain the differences in male and female communication and responses, but really got to the heart of the issues. This book is exactly what we were looking for. As we have read through we have had to stop numerous times as the Lord has been dealing with the issues deep within our hearts. As a result our communication has vastly improved. Based on what we have read so far we highly recommend this book!
This is the best book on Christian marriage I have ever read. It contains sound teaching, beginning with the individuals relationship with Christ before even beginning to address the marriage topics. I highly recommend this book!
