Hide or Seek: When Men Get Real with God about Sex
by John Freeman
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Are you stuck in a never-ending cycle of defeat that fills you with shame, prevents you from leading your family well, getting involved in the church, and spending your time and money on the things that really matter? You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by ending this cycle.
You are not powerless in the fight against pornography and lust. Hide or Seek won’t ask you to jump through a series of hoops; it will simply suggest one clear step forward. One step to reorient your heart toward God’s love for you. One step to take the energy out of the vicious cycle that keeps you from being the man God has called you to be, the man you want to be.
Discover how the gospel speaks in practical terms to the most private areas of your life and how God offers the freedom you desire. Hide or Seek is easy-to-read, full of real-life stories, and points you to the hope for change that many men have given up on finding. Don’t settle for the cycle.
John Freeman, MAR, is the Founder and Ministry Liaison for Harvest USA and has been a guest lecturer at Westminster Seminary, Reformed Seminary, and Cairn University. He is the author of Hide or Seek: When Men Get Real with God about Sex and the author of the minibook The Gay Dilemma and Your Church: Reaching Out to Those Who Struggle. John also contributed to the book Reformed Means Missional: Following Jesus into the World. He has contributed to Tabletalk and the Journal of Biblical Counseling and has been a regular guest writer for the faith page of The Philadelphia Daily News, for which he won a 2008 Amy Award.
Harvest USA brings the truth and mercy of Jesus Christ to help men, women, and families affected by sexual struggles and sin and equips churches to minister to sexually broken people.
"Of all the people we have met and all the organizations we have encountered in ministry to those who want sexual sanctification, John Freeman and Harvest USA are the ones we trust. The fruit of John’s experience in this book should be a help to many."
Tim Keller , Senior Pastor, Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York, NY; author of The Reason for God
"We live in a hyper-sexualized culture, where porn is the norm and everyone is harmed by secret sexual sin. Thank God for the ministry of John Freeman, who for decades has been helping people in sexual darkness find the light of Jesus Christ. Freeman is savvy about sexual temptation, sensitive to men who feel hopeless, and sold on the power of the gospel to bring real spiritual transformation. Before you give up hope for sexual healing, give Hide or Seek a chance to help bring the change you need."
Philip Ryken, President at Wheaton College
"John Freeman has written a book for men who are sexual strugglers—in other words, he has written a book for all men! John relentlessly applies the gospel—the love of God for us in Christ—to our sexual dysfunction. The gospel frees us to open up our lives both to our heavenly Father and to one another and begin the hard but good work of purity. Bridging the gap between theology and practice by telling us story after story of men who have been captured and delivered by sexual sin, John’s gentle and generous heart jumps from the pages of this book and mirrors the heart of God for men who are struggling. John doesn’t present the gospel in a vacuum; the book is a call to biblical integrity, to wholeness, where the inner life matches the outer appearance."
Paul E. Miller, Director of seeJesus, author of A Loving Life and A Praying Life
"When Christian men talk about sex, I either feel the weight of sin or I don’t feel the weight of glory. This is not the case with John Freeman. Few hold the complexities of our struggle with sex with the compelling goodness of what God created. Hide or Seek is profound and compelling and invites us to taste the sweetness of God’s love in our brokenness and desire and holy longing."
Dan B. Allender, PhD, Professor of Counseling Psychology and Founding President at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology; author of The Wounded Heart
"Here is what you will appreciate about John’s book: It’s the fruit of the work he has done in helping men for over thirty years. He was talking with men about sexual temptation while it was still taboo to make any sexual reference in most churches. You will find him to be an experienced, wise mentor who will guide you with both his words and his life."
Ed Welch, PhD, CCEF Faculty; psychologist; best-selling author
"An excellent, easily readable, down-to-earth, grace-filled, and compassionate journey into the world of men’s struggle with pornography with a biblical diagnosis of the heart problems that lie behind the struggle and a prescription for hope and healing. John Freeman’s long experience of helping men who struggle with sexual brokenness is revealed in many stories of pain and shame. His compassion and love is demonstrated in his desire to help them (and his readers) know the depths of the forgiveness, love, and grace of God. He weaves a narrative of personal experiences, others’ stories, biblical character studies, and, finally, practical suggestions, to offer help on the road to discovering the truth about God and our need of his grace and help in breaking free from the chains of sexual slavery."
Richard Winter, MD, Psychotherapist and Professor of Practical Theology and Counseling at Covenant Theological Seminary, St Louis, MO
"Most books written to men with sexual problems leave readers feeling hopeless—hopeless because they feel shamed by the author or unsure if the ""simple"" steps offered really work. Sometimes strugglers fear picking up a book like this for fear they will only feel worse when done. If that is you, I encourage you to pick up this book and to read slowly. On these pages John Freeman communicates something better than more shame and hopelessness. He exudes honesty and clarity about the nature of sexual struggles but in love, compassion, and hope for your present and future. As you read, you will know that John understands your sexual struggles, believes that you do not need to ""slink back to the cross,"" and paints a picture of hope in coming out of the fog."
Philip G. Monroe, PsyD, Professor of Counseling & Psychology at Biblical Seminary Graduate School of Counseling
"Finally, John’s book is out! For over a decade I’ve longed for the day when John Freeman’s love for the gospel, understanding of sexual brokenness, and compassionate heart would converge in printed form, and Hide or Seek is everything I hoped it would be. In over thirty-five years of ordained ministry, I’ve never met anyone with a better grasp of the spiritual issues, care-giving considerations, family dynamics, and the healing journey for those of us struggling with sexual brokenness than John. As a pastor, I have seen firsthand the fruit of John’s ministry, and that of Harvest USA. If you read this book, you will most definitely buy more for others."
Scotty Smith, Founding Pastor of Christ Community Church; Teacher in Residence at West End Community Church; author of Everyday Prayers: 365 Days to a Gospel-Centered Faith
"The last time we had John Freeman on ""Haven Today,"" we had to offer an alternative program to the most listened-to Christian teaching/talk radio station in America. The station founder and the pastor of one of America’s most well-known churches would not allow the word sex to be used on his airtime. Thankfully, that time has passed and, thankfully, John has written Hide or Seek . . . a book that addresses the biggest problem we face in the Christian world today. While primarily written to men, this book is long overdue and it speaks to women and men. If you subscribe to Sola Scriptura as I do, how can we not address the hidden sin that plagues all of us? I needed this book of hope. We all do. It oozes with grace that we desperately need to not just find our hope in Christ alone, but to overcome by the power of the gospel. Hide or Seek reminds me once again that grace trumps everything."
Charles Morris, President and Speaker of Haven Ministries
"John Freeman’s Hide or Seek: When Men Get Real with God about Sex is an authentic look into the deepest struggles of masculine sexuality. It is a gift of hope to the Christian soul. Here you will find not just the sting of truth, but also the joy of grace, the light of wisdom, and the encouragement of a trusted counselor and friend. You need this book and so do the men in your life that you know and love."
Dr. Peter A. Lillback, President, Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia
"John Freeman has succeeded! And, in my opinion, similar written attempts to help in this area of sexuality rarely do! How has he succeeded in a sea of noble but failed attempts? Here is my answer. If you ask yourself two questions I ask whenever I read a book like John’s, you will see what I mean. First, how well does this book help me read and know my God and his Word? Second, how well does this book help me read and know myself? To be of any actual assistance, a work like this simply must do both—unveiling my King to me, and unmasking myself to me. John’s work succeeds on both counts very, very well. Now I warn you! John’s work has a prophetic edge that cuts deep. It hurt as he showed me how I simultaneously need but resist the Holy Spirit’s ""holy and wholly disruption""! Thanks, John. This book hurts like heaven which seems worse than hell, because heaven wants me to change and hell hopes I never do!"
Joe Novenson, Senior Pastor at Lookout Mountain Presbyterian Church, Lookout Mountain, TN
"John Freeman has written a good and important book. Hide or Seek is easy to read, but not easy to experience. I think John has been reading my mail, or should I say he makes it plain that God is reading our collective mail as sexual beings. If anyone has struggled with overwhelming sexual lust, pornography, adultery, or same-sex attraction, then you should read this book, and my prayer would be that you would find hope in the gospel and rest for your soul."
Randy Nabors, Pastor Emeritus, New City Fellowship (PCA)