Everyone has a secret or two, a part of their life they would rather not share with the rest of the world. But for Jonathan Daugherty, his secret was so life-altering and relationship-ending that he fought to keep it hidden at all costs. And it did cost him. His secret kept him from contentment, peace, and the possibility of being known and loved for who he truly is. That's what any secret addiction can do but in particular a sex addiction.
After his wife finally discovered his secret, their marriage appeared to be over. In Secrets, Jonathan honestly and courageously shares his story of addiction to pornography and how he lost everything to it.
But that's not how the story ends. While Jonathan struggled, someone else was at work his heavenly Father. At the lowest possible moment of his life, God stepped in and brought him hope and healing. This is a story of both loss and redemption that gives hope to anyone who has ever experienced the power and struggle of addiction and its life-destroying effects. Addiction doesn't have the final say over Jonathan's life or in his marriage. The God who finds the lost, heals the sick, and brings life from death has the last, victorious word.
This is a courageous, honest and open account of life as a sex addict and how sex addition destroys marriages. Each chapter includes a "Living in the Light" section designed to equip and help readers find freedom from addiction. It can be used as a study for support groups of addicts and those who care about them.
"Sexual addiction is devastating to the person who is addicted as well as to those who love them. It's a difficult topic to address, but one that has to be met head-on. Secrets must be revealed for healing to occur. If you or someone you care for is struggling with sexual addiction, take hope in Jonathan Daugherty's transparent example."
Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family
"Finally, a book that poignantly portrays the honest struggles of a man's heart, the desperate cries of his soul, the longings of his hopes and dreams, and the unending grace of the God that saves him. Jonathan gives a step-by-step account of the bondage he experienced as a result of hiding and what it took to find the truth about himself. Secrets brings it all into the Light!"
Lee Preston, Director & Counselor, Shadow of His Wings Ministry
"It's no secret. There is always a different kind of credibility, and a different kind of hope, when you hear the words of someone who has been to the dark side and returned. Jonathan Daugherty has been there, but God himself brought him back. If you want hope and insight for your life, a loved one, or your ministry why not get it from one who has experienced the solution? Why not learn how to escape the death-roll of a life trapped in the chains of secrets? Help is here."
Dr. Fred Lybrand, Senior Pastor, Northeast Bible Church, San Antonio
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Great book. Very true situation. Would recommend to all dealing with sex addiction.
Grateful to have this resource after a rough time understanding how sex can be so harmful to a marriage.
Secrets: A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity, and Second Chances by Jonathan Daugherty covers topics that are uncomfortable, but needful for Christians to learn about and discuss. Many Christian men (and women!) struggle with issues such as pornography or addiction, but often don't seek help due to embarrassment or fear. The book description says: "Everyone has a secret or two areas of their life they would rather not share with the general public. But Jonathan Daugherty had a life-altering, relationship-ending secret that he wanted to keep hidden at all costs. And it did cost him. His secret snatched away contentment, peace, and the possibility of being known and loved for who he really is. That s what any addiction can do but in particular a sex addiction. When his wife finally realized who Jonathan really was and what he was really doing, their marriage seemed to be over. Jonathan shares honestly and courageously his story of pornography addiction to it and how he lost everything. But that s not the whole story. Someone else was at work while Jonathan was struggling his heavenly Father. At the lowest possible moment of his life, God stepped in and brought hope and healing. This is a story of loss and redemption that will give hope to anyone who has ever experienced the power of addiction and its life-destroying effects. Addiction doesn't have the last word in Jonathan's life or in his marriage. " Secrets is a very small, short book that would be perfect to give to a fellow Christian who is struggling. This is a great resource for pastors or counselors to keep on hand to give away. Jonathan goes through his story in a very honest yet discreet way. He tells the whole story without going into salacious, unnecessary, or inappropriate details. Each short chapter ends with a takeaway, questions for reflection, and action steps to take. This book was at times difficult to read because of the heavy and depressing subject matter and I had to set it aside at times, but I highly recommend it to either anyone struggling with these issues or anyone who is looking for resources for these issues.
“But by keeping secrets our lives tend to drift off course. We hide our flaws and overly accentuate our strengths, believing this will enhance our lives and relationships.” - Daugherty This statement, found at the beginning of Jonathan Daugherty’s book, Secrets, encapsulates the darkness that couches sexual addiction. Secrets ARE deadly, and sexual addiction is one of the deadliest tools in the enemy’s arsenal right now. I chose to review this book because sexual addiction ended 20+ years of marriage in my life. I wanted to read this book and rip it to shreds, because I simply couldn’t believe a man could be healed from this terrible addiction. So, Secrets proved to be as healing to me as it is certain to be to anyone fighting this particular battle. It was as if God pulled back the curtain to show me that healing is possible and what the end-result can look like when someone chooses to walk the path toward healing and deliverance. I will admit there were some passages in this book that were very painful to read. However, at the end of each chapter, there are questions that, although meant to be considered by the one struggling with addiction, proved to be challenging and enlightening to me as well. No matter which side of the relationship you fall on, if you have encountered this addiction in any way, there is healing to be found in the pages of this book. AND, there is a ministry called Be Broken associated with Jonathan Daugherty, and I’ve contacted them as well. They minister to both the men struggling and their wives. This is the real deal – the total package – this is a place of healing and hope!! I am grateful to God for this book and Praise God for all of the lives that are going to be forever transformed through the pages of this book!
Secrets, a book that should be read by all married man. He tells it like it was for him, and makes no promises for his future in regards to what his past was like, but as being honest and real, we know we don't want to go back, so let's keep distance, and trust God more.
From about half way through the book, I had tears and actually cried quite a bit. I will follow this short note up with a more extensive explanation of my parallel life with you. Thank you, Jonathan and God Bless you and your family. I love you my brother in Christ.
Jonathan has written with such honesty and openness the story of his struggles with sexual addiction. In that regard he has shared his secret and in doing so helped me to see the value of not keeping any secret. To share life's hard struggles and how to work through something like sexual addiction to where a person is free, like Jonathan, to also outline the truth of its affects and the solution leading to complete freedom. Added bonus is that he included God in his journey to victory and ultimately a wife and family to be proud of. I salute him, he really is my hero in this.