When your husband struggles with pornography, your world is shattered. There are so many resources to help him, but what about you? Where can you go with your grief, insecurities, fear, and even anger? Jenny Solomon comes alongside hurting wives and gently encourages them to bring their pain to God, who is able to reclaim their marriage. She will help you to rest in God's love, while at the same time taking one brave step at a time to care for your family and yourself.
Jenny understands that when the heavy burden of sorrow weighs down your soul, it is helpful to lean hard on a few solid truths about who God is and how he is calling you to respond. One of the most important is that although you may feel lonely right now, you are not alone. In Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Pornography, you will learn how to draw close to the Lord as you address your own sorrows, questions, and temptations. The author will encourage you to find a Christian community where you can seek a listening ear and find close friends who will come alongside you and pray for you in this battle. Jenny not only knows the struggle you are facing but has experienced the power of the gospel to bring healing.
Fighting pornography is not something a couple can handle alone. This book and the companion resource for husbands written by Jenny's husband Curtis Solomon, Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Hurt with Pornography, can be used to bring hope and grace into a seemingly impossible situation. These resources can be used in the context of mentoring, counseling, or accountability relationships to give biblical direction and hope in the midst of a difficult struggle.
Reclaim Your Marriage includes a foreword by Elyse Fitzpatrick.
"When I teach on human sexuality and its many perversions lust, pornography, masturbation, and more some students are clearly uncomfortable with the topics because they have been deeply wounded by others who struggle in those areas. How then do I reach into my students' lives and help them gain a measure of ease in discussing these hurts? Jenny Solomon's book, Reclaim Your Marriage, is an invitation to address such brokenness honestly and carefully with grace and truth. It is an ideal conversation starter for uncomfortable and hurtful areas."
Gregg R. Allison, Professor of Christian Theology, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; secretary, Evangelical Theological Society; author of several books, including Embodied: Living as Whole People in a Fractured World
"There are few books aimed directly at women who struggle with husbands who view pornography. Jenny Solomon adds a much-needed voice to this discussion. Readers will be drawn in through her vulnerability and will deepen their understanding of how Scripture speaks to this issue. Jenny has offered hurting and suffering wives more than just a book she's offered them a way forward through the mess of sin to find hope in Christ."
Jonathan D. Holmes, Executive Director, Fieldstone Counseling; coauthor of Rescue Plan and Rescue Skills
"Steeped in the study of Scripture, Jenny Solomon offers comfort and courage for wives harmed by their husband's use of pornography. Written with the tenderness and earned wisdom of one who knows this suffering, Jenny has given us an invaluable resource for hurting wives, one that seeks to strengthen their faith for the uncertain journey ahead."
Darby Strickland, Faculty member, The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF); author of Is it Abuse?
"The porn plague has gone on long enough! I am grateful that we are seeing more and more excellent resources meant to help men who have succumbed to it and wives who have been hurt by it. I am certain that this new pair of books by my friends Curtis and Jenny Solomon will serve many couples as they redeem and reclaim a marriage that has been harmed by pornography. Those who read these books will find them helpful, challenging, encouraging, and best of all, biblical."
Tim Challies, Blogger at Challies.com; author of Epic: An Around-the-World Journey through Christian History
"A book like this is not written but forged. Forging takes heat, time, and quality materials. Jenny walks with hurting wives into the fire and through the long wait, following the precious truth of God's compassion and power. Her guidance is careful, honest, and confident in the Lord. Simply excellent."
Jeremy Pierre, Lawrence and Charlotte Hoover Professor of Biblical Counseling & Department Chair, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary; author of The Dynamic Heart in Daily Life and When Home Hurts
"Curtis and Jenny Solomon have accomplished a unique writing and ministry feat. Their books, written as husband and wifeto husbands and wives in the throes of pornography's sobering devastation provide gentle yet sinewy and personal encouragement and guidance. Reading these books felt like sitting with trustworthy companions for couples who need Christ's courage and hope regarding repentance and freedom from porn and the pain it brings to marriages."
Ellen Mary Dykas, Director of Women's Ministry, Harvest USA; author of Sexual Sanity for Women and Toxic Relationships; coauthor of Sexual Faithfulness
"This is one of the most important books any married couple will read. Take in these truths and let them encourage you, strengthen you, and challenge you to fight for what matters most: each other."
Chad M. Robichaux, Founder, Mighty Oaks Foundation
"This book is what you're hoping it is. Jenny Solomon writes as someone who has been there and offers you her sorrow, compassion, and kindness. She also writes as one who has seen Christ do what seemed impossible and offers you her wisdom, clarity, and confidence. Pick it up and read it you'll be glad you took advantage of her offer to help guide you through your and your spouse's painful and personal struggles."
Nathanael Brooks, Assistant Professor of Christian Counseling, Reformed Theological Seminary, Charlotte, NC
"If your husband struggles with pornography, look no further. Jenny Solomon is a wise, thoughtful, Christ-centered, and trustworthy guide. She's honest about her own struggles and she cares about wives who face the difficulties of an addicted husband. What I loved most about Reclaim Your Marriage is that it's rooted in Scripture. Does God offer strength, wisdom, and hope to a wife who suffers under the weight of her husband's addiction? Absolutely yes. This book will help you to see that much more clearly."
Deepak Reju, Pastor of Biblical Counseling and Family Ministry, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC; author of Pornography: Fighting for Purity and coauthor of Rescue Plan: Charting a Course to Restore Prisoners of Pornography
"Curtis and Jenny have much wisdom to share with couples who are hurting as a result of one partner's use of porn. I would encourage couples to learn from them how to glorify Jesus in the midst of great hurt."
Amy Baker, Ministry Resource Director at Faith Church, Lafayette, IN; author of Getting to the Heart of Friendships and Picture Perfect; editor of Caring for the Souls of Children
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My heart goes out to whoever is thinking about reading this book. Im so sorry youre looking at reviews. Im praying for you. My heart was truly shattered when I found out my husband had been watching porn for 14 years. I had no idea. While I was thankful he felt convicted, I also felt so betrayed. Still do, but to a lesser degree. This book is 100% inspired by God. It shows God's love for you, his heart for you, the pain we endure in life through our husband's sinful choice to view porn, and talks about Biblical truth. It isnt a pitty party. It doesn't use words to blame your spouse. But to encourage you and to show you how deeply loved you are by Jesus, and some very applicable ways to get through the pain of your husband's choices. When looking through which books to pick on the subject, I chose this one 1. Because God is at the center of writing this book. 2. A husband and wife wrote a book each sharing their wisdom and 3. My husband wasn't addicted to porn, but I was still deeply hurt by his choices to choose porn instead of me.
Loved this book! I haven’t finished it yet but it feels like someone has a window into my own feelings. So validating and Biblically encouraging without casting any stones either way, but instead guiding the reader to seek God and wisdom above all else.
Very Biblical and Practical to help anyone struggling with pornography or to help the ‘accountability partner’ to help others. It lays out a very helpful approach of AAA (amputation, accountability, admiration) to help turn away from struggle with pornography to worshipping our God and restoring the marriage relationship
It gently speaks truth and sheds light on our own sinful responses while not making us responsible for other’s sin. I appreciate her letting us in to the nitty gritty parts of her heart. I haven’t finished reading this yet, and I can’t say I agree with everything 100%. But it definitely exposes the heart to light. I appreciate it immensely. It also feels nice having some sort of rubric to this area of messy life.
As a counselor, I'm thankful to have this for my counselees. Using the examples/stories of Abigail and the woman wiping the feet of Jesus with her hair from the Bible, Jenny walks a woman through different aspects of healing and biblical functioning- difficult in the face of living with a husband enslaved to pornography. How does she walk in wisdom or address her own temptations toward self-righteousness, bitterness or unforgiveness? Chapters build on one another but could also be used individually with good questions for discussion at the end of each chapter. I am putting this to use immediately.
Unapologetically Biblical and phenomenally practical. I have served as a biblical marriage counselor for over 15 years and found "Reclaim Your Marriage" as the best blend of sound theology with heart and care I have ever read. Author Jenny Solomon excellently lives out a Titus 2 model that as a reader you feel like you are able to sit on the couch with her and pour your heart out knowing that there is a listening ear and an admonishing heart. Her understanding of the concerns of a wife's wounded heart meld seamlessly with her Gospel centered answers as if her pen was dipped in Grace. She makes the biblical characters of wounded women in the Scriptures such as Abigail or the women who washed Jesus' feet live and breathe. She invites the reader to both see the Scriptures in 3-D and to find both their pain and their salvation in the Messiah. I also truly appreciated how she helps the reader walk through practical questions such as, "How do I forgive? What about Abuse, Divorce, Consequences...." She walks the questioner through tough questions while pointing to three trail guides, Christ, the Word, and the Church. I thank both of the Solomon’s for their sacrifice of time, tears, and talents to assist the body of Christ through this book. I will be ordering dozens for the sisters of our church and relatives.
I cannot recommend "Reclaim Your Marriage" by Jenny Solomon enough. I have personally seen the devastating impact porn has on marriages, and Solomons' book is a powerful and compassionate resource that offers grace-filled guidance for wives who have been hurt by their husband's pornography addiction. Jenny consistently offers the hope of the Gospel, which is why this is my go-to recommendation for wives in this difficult situation.
I am so thankful to have been recommended this book. While my husband’s sexual sins went beyond pornography, most of the book was still applicable and such a challenge to my heart! I love the gentleness with which Jenny writes to those who are hurting - but not without challenging our personal responsibility to respond like Jesus because of the gospel and the grace and mercy we ourselves have been receivers of. I highly recommend this to any wife who has been hurt by her husband’s sexual sins - and also to other women who are seeking to come alongside someone who is hurting!
Both books helped a lot
Would recommend Reclaim Your Marriage for any wife who loves a husband who is attempting to recover from an addiction.