Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

I like books that tells stories - it helps me stay engaged. So, this book not only had a lot of helpful and biblical advice in navigating different relationship as sinful beings; BUT it also has different examples of the advice played out in story which was very helpful for me! Grateful for books written like that.

This is the most influential and impactful Christian book that I’ve ever read. I didn’t realize I had problems in my relationships and even how I viewed them until I read this book, and I’ve seen so much growth and change in my relationships thanks to the insight that this book offers. It’s practical, and it all ultimately leads us back to the one who makes all things possible for us: Yahweh__

I will start with the fact that they quote from The Message rather than a true Bible.
THIS IS A BIG NO-NO! Other than that... This book is so rich with insight about a proper view of relationships as God intends. God is opening my eyes to my own selfish tendencies. We are taught by the world to deal with selfish people, give ultimatums, and try to force people to shape up or ship out. The truth is, every heart is selfish and self-serving. We are to struggle to improve our serve. That is where we see Him work.

Paul Tripp is an Author worth reading! He is practical and addresses issues with examples that are easy to understand... And he offers Christian advice that is both practical and easy to understand, as well as Scripture passages that speak a Word that reminds us of our need to reflect

Excellent! Worth re-reading again and again, and to study with others. Great for anyone in counseling or mentoring situations.

The authors of this book do an incredible job of looking at the real life reality that relationships are messy and difficulty, and provides a biblical perspective through the lens of the bible. The reality is that even for the most devout Christian we can run into difficulty in relationships because we live in a sinful world with imperfect people. This isn't a book trying to address issues from ideal perspectives that aim to make relationships easier, or a step-by-step guide to improve relationships, it is so much more than that. This book talks about God's purpose for relationships (spoiler alert, it isn't to make you happy!) and how it is a sanctification process God uses to draw us closer to Him and make us more like Christ. Relationships reveal how weak our love, mercy, grace, patience, and forgiveness truly are and bring us to the end of ourself, which is a great place to be because that is where we truly begin to rely on God and His strength instead of our own. This book will make you rethink how you view relationships and others in the best way possible. If you're a Christian, go buy this book. You won't regret it.

I worked through this book with a friend so we could both grow and be encouraged in the realm of often difficult relationship building!

I have just read the first 2 chapters. It is written very well. Easy to understand. It has already given me some insight about some relationships I have been in, and are still in. I highly recommend this book! It's not only about marriage. It's about ALL relationships. :-)

I thought I would never finish this book.

Don’t get me wrong—it is chock full of practical advice and counsel for building healthy, biblical relationships. But it reads like a series of lectures. I honestly think this book is better suited as a teaching tool than as content for casual consumption.

One of my pastors recommended this book, and I can understand why—the content is strong and sound. But the vast amount of illustrations and the repetitiveness of the writers’ goals in each chapter just felt like it was poorly suited to a written medium. I think I would have greatly enjoyed listening to this one. So if you’re considering this book, maybe look into the audiobook before purchasing a print copy.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I learned a lot in these pages and will probably reference this book again in the future, but I probably won’t read it all the way through again. It was just a less enjoyable read for me.

I like the book for it helps me see how God uses relationship to sanctify us and others, that we should not give up in our relationship with one another in the midst of conflicts, that it is a mess worth making and keeping because Christ Himself entered into a relationship with us. He made a way to establish our relationship with Him so we can grow in and with Him (vertical) and pursue and deepen our relationship with one another (horizontally).

Relationships that reflect the work of God in our hearts require sacrifice and commitment. In fact, relationships are the primary means by which He intends to sanctify the redeemed and bring the gospel to the lost. The authors do a great job of explaining this as they encourage and exhort is to see relationships as God intended them.

Wish someone had taught (and demonstrated) the contents of this book to me years ago. Would be an excellent book for every team, every small group and every young person to read, think about and discuss. So glad a colleague recommended it to me.

Hands down, the best book on this subject on the market today.

This is a good book to look at yourself as well as reach out to others. We are all sinners in need of forgiveness and grace and we need to give it to each other as well.

I think this book would be ideal for a young adult Bible Study guide or for Christians needing to revitalize relationships.

Let the authors conversational style usher you into eternal truths. God will both whisper and shout through this pages. You will be stirred to live your calling on a whole new level. Please read it! We need it.

In a world of self help books, this one takes it to a biblical and practical level. The author obviously has a grip on real life.

One of the best books on relationships I've read, mostly because it doesn't focus on just one aspect. The talk about singleness just as much as marriage.

One of the best books on relationships I've read, mostly because it doesn't focus on just one aspect. The talk about singleness just as much as marriage.

In a world of self help books, this one takes it to a biblical and practical level. The author obviously has a grip on real life. It’s helped me think and recalibrate my heart and mind regarding what I bring to relationships. My greatest need at every moment is Christ.

Very helpful. Very practical. Timothy Lane always goes to the heart of problems and Jesus is the only one who can transform hearts. This is a book for everyone. It puts a Biblical perspective into every relationship we have. Within the book there is help for conversations, apologies, forgiveness, mercy, how to use your time and money, and much more. Each chapter is gospel-saturated. This book helps define the problem AND offers the only biblical solution--Christ and Him crucified. This would be a great book for small groups to read and the church as a whole.

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making (2006), by Timothy Lane and Paul Tripp was a required book for a class I am taking through the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation. I had previously read Tripp and Lane's How People Change, which was a very good book, so I was looking forward to this one as well. This one surpassed my expectations. As the title would suggest, this book explores the mess of relationships and why we should pursue them anyway.

They rightly demonstrate that relationships are often difficult and, given enough time, all relationships will likely show strain. However, they suggest that "God keeps us in messy relationships for His redemptive purpose" (page 11). In the midst of struggle, it is often difficult to see God's work at hand, but it is.

Exploring topics such as sin, forgiveness, and mercy, the authors provide examples of moving in the rhythms of life with one another. In many ways, this book was reminiscent of the things that I have been reading from Dr Larry Crabb. The idea of "relational sin" would not be foreign to these authors and this book would serve as an excellent addition to the libraries of those who believe that relationships are a mess worth making.

This book provides a new and fresh perspective on our relationships: I enjoyed it more than I had anticipated. This is not an easy topic. Human relationships are easily the most difficult thing we navigate, but this book treats it gently. I found myself meditating for a long time on various points. Its strength lies in its close reference to scripture.

This is more than a book on relationships, it's a book on discipleship and how being a follower of Christ impacts your relationships. If you are looking for a how-to book filled with checklists and action steps, this is not your book. But if you want a book that will stretch you, challenge your thinking, and help you live out your faith in the daily context of your relationships, then this book is for you. I found many of the chapters to be helpful -- particularly the authors' descriptions of forgiveness (c.9), encouragement (p.112-116), and mercy (c.12). The final chapter challenges the reader toward a kingdom ministry that steps into the messiness of the world around us, serving others as worship.

In all honesty, I didn't finish the book but I gave it a friend whose marriage was in trouble & she read it, then she & her husband read it together & it helped them reconcile their marriage. Then they let their sister borrow it to help her marriage & it worked for her so now another family member is reading it. So this book along with the power of GOD through prayer has done great things in the lives of those who read it!

Relationships are, indeed, messy; yet they are also worthwhile. This book does a good job of biblically sorting through relationship issues, particularly in helping the reader deal with his or her own contribution to the relationship (versus fixing others). I found the section in chapter nine on forgiveness and reconciliation to be the most valuable part of the book, personally. The authors clarified a sticky issue here.

This book makes a lot of sense on understanding everyday situations dealing with all sorts of relationships. One thing I've learned from this book is that nobody is perfect and always expect the unexpected.

My counselor suggested that I read this book. I'm glad that I did. I am not an especially social person though I have come to the realization that I need me and deeper relationships for my own health and to accomplish my mission in life. Frankly, my own personal gain from relationships just hasn't been compelling enough to act on. That said, reading this compelling account of what God's desire for our relationships is has been a strong encouragement to me to invest more of my time and resources into other people. The book also outlines the challenges with relationships and a Godly approach to transcending them. Here comes the hard part - putting it into action!

Very helpful. Very practical. Timothy Lane always goes to the heart of problems and Jesus is the only one who can transform hearts. This is a book for everyone. It puts a Biblical perspective into every relationship we have. Within the book there is help for conversations, apologies, forgiveness, mercy, how to use your time and money, and much more. Each chapter is gospel-saturated. This book helps define the problem AND offers the only biblical solution--Christ and Him crucified. This would be a great book for small groups to read and the church as a whole.