Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Pornography

My heart goes out to whoever is thinking about reading this book. Im so sorry youre looking at reviews. Im praying for you. My heart was truly shattered when I found out my husband had been watching porn for 14 years. I had no idea. While I was thankful he felt convicted, I also felt so betrayed. Still do, but to a lesser degree. This book is 100% inspired by God. It shows God's love for you, his heart for you, the pain we endure in life through our husband's sinful choice to view porn, and talks about Biblical truth. It isnt a pitty party. It doesn't use words to blame your spouse. But to encourage you and to show you how deeply loved you are by Jesus, and some very applicable ways to get through the pain of your husband's choices. When looking through which books to pick on the subject, I chose this one 1. Because God is at the center of writing this book. 2. A husband and wife wrote a book each sharing their wisdom and 3. My husband wasn't addicted to porn, but I was still deeply hurt by his choices to choose porn instead of me.

Loved this book! I haven’t finished it yet but it feels like someone has a window into my own feelings. So validating and Biblically encouraging without casting any stones either way, but instead guiding the reader to seek God and wisdom above all else.

Very Biblical and Practical to help anyone struggling with pornography or to help the ‘accountability partner’ to help others. It lays out a very helpful approach of AAA (amputation, accountability, admiration) to help turn away from struggle with pornography to worshipping our God and restoring the marriage relationship

It gently speaks truth and sheds light on our own sinful responses while not making us responsible for other’s sin. I appreciate her letting us in to the nitty gritty parts of her heart.
I haven’t finished reading this yet, and I can’t say I agree with everything 100%. But it definitely exposes the heart to light. I appreciate it immensely.
It also feels nice having some sort of rubric to this area of messy life.

As a counselor, I'm thankful to have this for my counselees. Using the examples/stories of Abigail and the woman wiping the feet of Jesus with her hair from the Bible, Jenny walks a woman through different aspects of healing and biblical functioning- difficult in the face of living with a husband enslaved to pornography. How does she walk in wisdom or address her own temptations toward self-righteousness, bitterness or unforgiveness? Chapters build on one another but could also be used individually with good questions for discussion at the end of each chapter. I am putting this to use immediately.

Unapologetically Biblical and phenomenally practical.
I have served as a biblical marriage counselor for over 15 years and found "Reclaim Your Marriage" as the best blend of sound theology with heart and care I have ever read.
Author Jenny Solomon excellently lives out a Titus 2 model that as a reader you feel like you are able to sit on the couch with her and pour your heart out knowing that there is a listening ear and an admonishing heart.
Her understanding of the concerns of a wife's wounded heart meld seamlessly with her Gospel centered answers as if her pen was dipped in Grace. She makes the biblical characters of wounded women in the Scriptures such as Abigail or the women who washed Jesus' feet live and breathe. She invites the reader to both see the Scriptures in 3-D and to find both their pain and their salvation in the Messiah. I also truly appreciated how she helps the reader walk through practical questions such as, "How do I forgive? What about Abuse, Divorce, Consequences...."
She walks the questioner through tough questions while pointing to three trail guides, Christ, the Word, and the Church. I thank both of the Solomon’s for their sacrifice of time, tears, and talents to assist the body of Christ through this book. I will be ordering dozens for the sisters of our church and relatives.

I cannot recommend "Reclaim Your Marriage" by Jenny Solomon enough. I have personally seen the devastating impact porn has on marriages, and Solomons' book is a powerful and compassionate resource that offers grace-filled guidance for wives who have been hurt by their husband's pornography addiction. Jenny consistently offers the hope of the Gospel, which is why this is my go-to recommendation for wives in this difficult situation.

I am so thankful to have been recommended this book. While my husband’s sexual sins went beyond pornography, most of the book was still applicable and such a challenge to my heart! I love the gentleness with which Jenny writes to those who are hurting - but not without challenging our personal responsibility to respond like Jesus because of the gospel and the grace and mercy we ourselves have been receivers of. I highly recommend this to any wife who has been hurt by her husband’s sexual sins - and also to other women who are seeking to come alongside someone who is hurting!

Both books helped a lot

Would recommend Reclaim Your Marriage for any wife who loves a husband who is attempting to recover from an addiction.

This book is an excellent resource not only for any marriage that has been impacted by pornography, but for anyone seeking to grow to become more like Christ. The principles in this book are useful for many areas of struggle. I would highly recommend it to any Christian who's serious about their own growth.

Does the Gospel have any power over pornography? In Redeem Your Marriage, Curtis Solomon offers hope for husbands who have hurt through pornography.

Go to God

Pornography is a sin against God, but it also impacts everyone in your life. Specifically, I learned about the emotional effects of pornography use. Questions for action, discussion, and reflection are included, as well as suggested resources for further reading.

Lament and learning to grieve losses gets a big focus in this book. Ungrieved losses can hinder healing and hope. We can have real lament by remembering that God is still loving. I was encouraged to go to God with concerns, not complaints.

We are At War with Pornography

Solomon served in the military, and he uses his experience to give support to his book. I learned that the real meaning of repentance is inward change that manifests as outward change. Intellectual, emotional, and volitional elements of repentance are what truly results in a changed life.

Fittingly, it is mentioned that we are at war with pornography. Pride, power, and control are some reasons for using pornography. A lack of self-control and deception are accompanying sins. Victory is about your ongoing, daily walk with Jesus.

Repentance and Confession

The fruit of genuine repentance are the confession and forsaking of sin. Sanctification often involves reconciliation, which occurs over time as love and trust is rebuilt while living life together. We must have God’s perspective as husband and wife go through this together.

I was most interested to find help in fighting sin. Admiration of Jesus connects and draws us closer to God. Accountability to our wife as well as our brothers in Christ means that we do not have to fight the battle alone. Amputation means identifying the sources and channels of temptation. Alterations might mean redefining how we see beauty, as well as serving as growing.

Fighting on the Home Front

I was encouraged to see that we should view our home being behind-the-wire – a safe and temptation-free zone. Appendixes include porn and abuse , ministry after porn and is pornography use grounds for divorce? With open and transparent writing, this book will help you see that you are not alone in the battle against pornography. Our victory is secure in Christ, and we can continue fighting on the home front.

Where can wives find peace when pornography has hurt them and their husbands? In Reclaim Your Marriage, Jenny Solomon offers grace for wives who have been hurt by pornography.

Faithfulness and Hope in God

I appreciated the blunt words used throughout the book regarding the destructiveness of porn in that it severs holy unity. Solomon calls wives to reorient your life direction towards God, where faithfulness and hope are found.

By beginning with lament, wives can share their grievances and gratitude towards God. It allows us to remember to rely on our Heavenly Father. Scripture makes it clear that sin cannot be overcome without confession. This involves friends, but also pastors, counselors, and community group leaders.

Wisdom in God’s Word

Porn permeates destructive lies about body image. Women can be encouraged that they are made in God’ image. As a man, I was struck by the notion that when we look at Jesus, we won’t find handsomeness. Rather, we will find beauty because he embodies perfect love.

I was interested to see how 1 Samuel 25 and the story of Abigail provides wisdom for wives. Wisdom is shown to be pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, sincere, and sowing a harvest of righteousness in peace by making peace. Solomon takes a look at spiritual practices and gives practical advice in setting up your home for safety.

Strength in the Lord

Wives can resolve to have accountability and refuse to seek revenge. We are all sexually broken, but God grants us mercy in Jesus. Wives can be welcoming by forgiving, serving, and showing grace. God means to sanctify and humble us – even through the sins of our husbands.

The book has several questions to help you understand your situation as well as your husband. Appendixes include porn and abuse, ministry after porn, and is pornography use grounds for divorce? The book closes by encouraging women who have been hurt to find their strength in the Lord. He will give hope and and mercy for every new day.

Where can wives find peace when pornography has hurt them and their husbands? In Reclaim Your Marriage, Jenny Solomon offers grace for wives who have been hurt by pornography.

Faithfulness and Hope in God

I appreciated the blunt words used throughout the book regarding the destructiveness of porn in that it severs holy unity. Solomon calls wives to reorient your life direction towards God, where faithfulness and hope are found.

By beginning with lament, wives can share their grievances and gratitude towards God. It allows us to remember to rely on our Heavenly Father. Scripture makes it clear that sin cannot be overcome without confession. This involves friends, but also pastors, counselors, and community group leaders.

Wisdom in God’s Word

Porn permeates destructive lies about body image. Women can be encouraged that they are made in God’ image. As a man, I was struck by the notion that when we look at Jesus, we won’t find handsomeness. Rather, we will find beauty because he embodies perfect love.

I was interested to see how 1 Samuel 25 and the story of Abigail provides wisdom for wives. Wisdom is shown to be pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, sincere, and sowing a harvest of righteousness in peace by making peace. Solomon takes a look at spiritual practices and gives practical advice in setting up your home for safety.

Strength in the Lord

Wives can resolve to have accountability and refuse to seek revenge. We are all sexually broken, but God grants us mercy in Jesus. Wives can be welcoming by forgiving, serving, and showing grace. God means to sanctify and humble us – even through the sins of our husbands.

The book has several questions to help you understand your situation as well as your husband. Appendixes include porn and abuse, ministry after porn, and is pornography use grounds for divorce? The book closes by encouraging women who have been hurt to find their strength in the Lord. He will give hope and and mercy for every new day.

I received a media copy of Reclaim Your Marriage and this is my honest review.