Table for Two: Biblical Counsel for Eating Disorders

This book is a great resource for understanding eating disorders and how to approach them in a practical way. Not overwhelming or unnecessarily wordy! Dave & Khrista do a great job of intertwining their story with helpful suggestions and biblical insight.

Not too long, practical, yet deep, Biblical and God-centered, heart focused, and good use of personal stories. I hope they perhaps create other individual volumes focusing on specific disorders rather than putting them all together.

HIGHLY recommend to any Christian who is curious about eating disorders, suffering from one, or close to someone suffering!!! This book fulfills a gap niche in Christian literature that I have not found elsewhere. It is meant to be read in a partnership and includes very helpful exercises in each chapter. Not only is this book informative about how eating disorders function, it also does not neglect identifying them as sinful. It gives a detailed explanation of how they are idolatrous and how they cause sufferers to put faith in themselves. Krista explains how she could not change her behavior until she repented of it. The only complaint I can make is that while Krista & David’s relationship as a sufferer/helper couple clearly worked out, I think their example sets a potentially unrealistic precedent for how much support a dating relationship can/should provide in a situation like this.

“The values that drive an eating disorder impact a whole life, not just the dinner table.” To stop disordered eating, we must first confront disordered desire. There is no Scripture that commands or even commends thinness. In fact, a skinny body can connote a skinny soul. “Sin is always an attempt to do life apart from God, to gain happiness or escape pain on our own terms.” Denying bodily hunger and appetite is the mind’s attempt to achieve independence from the body. In effect it is fulfilling 1 Corinthians 12:

“Just as the human body is one, though it has many parts that together form one body, so too is Christ…In fact, the human body is not one single part but rather many parts mingled into one.” So if the brain were to say, ‘Since I’m not a stomach, I’m not a part of the body. I don’t need you,” it’s forgetting that it is still a vital part of the body. And if the stomach were to say, “Since I’m not a brain, I’m not really a part of the body. I don’t need you,” it’s forgetting that it is still an important part of the body. If the whole body were just an intellect, how could it delight in physical appetite? And if the whole body were just a stomach, how could it discern wisdom and knowledge?

“But God has carefully designed each member and placed it in the body to function as HE desires. A diversity is required, for if the body consisted of one single part, there wouldn’t be a body at all…He has done this intentionally so that every member would look after the others with mutual concern, and so that there will be no division in the body. In that way, whatever happens to one member happens to all. If one suffers, everyone suffers. If one is honored, everyone rejoices.”

So now we see that disordered eating is the enemy’s attempt to divorce the differing parts and functions from their unity as one body. We each bring a different color to God’s masterpiece, as each person brings unique experiences and characteristics to any relationship. As we splotch the paint of our personality onto His palette, He swirls our individual colors into new hues that together comprise a work of art to decorate the dining room of heaven where the table for two becomes a table for all.

The Dunham's tackle an issue that is common in our society today. This book is the best resource I have read on eating disorders. An essential aspect of this book is that it includes questions for the "helper" and the one needing help. I will be returning to this resource frequently in the future if I ever counsel someone with an eating disorder.

Read this on my own, still helpful even if you don’t go through it with someone else. There are very few resources out there on this topic so I’m thankful for the tools & wisdom in here!

I thought this was a great read. I really appreciated Krista and David’s honest testimony and insights. I also liked that each chapter ended with takeaways and questions for both the sufferer and the helper. As the conclusion in the book states, “books don’t change people”, so obviously there aren’t silver bullets in here. But I think it’s a great tool for getting conversations started and providing questions to work toward identifying motives and heart issues and then moving forward from there.

Super late review, but I read this over the summer in Thailand. I feel like ED doesn’t really get talked about much in the church so this was one of the only books I could find. It was okay, but I wanted more!! The sweet part was that it was intentionally designed for someone to help you through the tough stages and get insight on the struggles with ED. Great discipleship tool, but some parts I felt were unhelpful/unnecessary. Small book, worth a read.

This is a small, concise, manageable book on an all-too-common and complex topic. It primarily deals with under-eating, excessive exercise and purging. The Dunham’s balance sound Biblical Truth with practical assessment tools and application. The book is written for both sufferers and their loved ones/helpers with questions and discussion guides at the end of every chapter. I especially appreciated that they encouraged helpers to apply Biblical Truths to their lives as well to foster a more reciprocal conversation. I would encourage helpers to read the final chapter, if not the whole book, before starting it with a sufferer to gain a better grasp on the struggles and reasonable expectations of helping someone with disordered eating. Highly recommend!

This book could be useful for anyone with any habitual sin or addiction, not just eating disorders. All these behaviors stem from similar heart places, and the cure is always God’s grace.

I appreciate that it is written for both the sufferer and the loved ones trying to help the sufferer, because I know loved ones usually have no idea how to help efficiently. I appreciate that Krista talks about all the heart motives that went into her eating disorder, and how she ultimately had to address more than just the physical eating disorder before she could grow as a person. I love that Krista has now become a helper for other sufferers. This book is full of hope for people who want to transform, not just simply stop a bad habit.

I appreciate that they talk at the end about replacing the addictive habits with enjoyable activities. The goal is to live better, not just to sit around thinking about not sinning. “Addictive habits can sometimes make it feel like we have no other outlets for fun than those we have used inappropriately…Addictive habits train us to think that only the grand and exciting can be enjoyable. Part of recovery will need to include learning to appreciate the banal activities of life as well.”

I wish I could go back in time and give this book to 20 year old Kristia and David. It would have helped them so much. I appreciate how transparent they are about their past failures, and how much time it took them both to grow. I’m thankful they decided to pull together everything they’ve learned over the years and put it into this book. I hope it helps others, so they don’t have to struggle so hard or for so long. This little book is packed with so much useful information without wasting any words. It seems more succinct than other resources I’ve seen on the topic.

This thing is packed with hope, the gospel, raw honesty, and struggle. It gives a honest look at eating disorders. It is built to be a supplement to helping a struggler/helper navigate the trenches of such a delicate war. It is a super neat thing to see the aftermath of a hard battle fought and won.

This book breaks down eating disorders from a biblical point of view and provides practical steps to move forward. Encouraging, challenging and informative.

I highly recommend this book to all believers. I do realize it is a book that specifically addresses the topic of eating disorders, however, this book is filled with so many good questions and helps that could benefit almost any struggle that someone has. I found it super helpful and it is a definite go-to reference for me for aiding people in healing. It directs others toward Christ and is completely practical and biblical.

This book also includes the transparent journey of a sufferer and helper through this struggle. That made it more personal and helpful to the reader. I appreciated the transparency and thoughtfulness and self-awareness of the authors. Overall that makes a book more realistic and fruitful.

Get this book. It is one that you want on your shelf if you are a helper of people.

I appreciated the honesty, biblical perspective, full account details, process and solutions.

“Many times, during that first year of marriage I asked my wife, “What can I do to help you?” She did not know the answer, and it put all the pressure on her. I meant well, but I hadn’t taken the time to learn how to help her.”

One can only touch the surface of the intense journey experienced by David and Krista as they navigated such a painful and complex issue that culminated in restoration and ministry to others.

“We are all plagued in various ways by our own weaknesses, and we are all in need of spiritual help and assistance from our brothers and sisters. You might be in the helper role right now, but you’ve been in need of help in the past, and you will be in need of help again in the future. Helpers need to guard their own hearts from a sort of spiritual pride that elevates them above those whose lives appear messier, whose sins seem more serious, and whose brokenness seems more frustrating.”

They did not minimize or diminish the process with a simplistic equation of linear steps to follow for the desired outcome. Instead, they were candid about the anguish…the failures at specific junctures…the perseverance through obedience…and God’s provision to overcome.

Their Gospel propelled story provides an intimate invitation into the lives of a marriage struggling through the tumult of an eating disorder. Moreover, the wisdom found in the Biblical framework provided on how to find the redemptive way out is applicable to a multitude of issues in our lives.

“One big piece of the equation was facing my thought life. I saw many counselors over the years, many of which gave me homework that promoted a positive self-image and positive life strategies. As time went by, however, I saw that these tactics were not helping me to get better and were often making me frustrated. The positive self-talk did not acknowledge that I struggled with sin. Yes, I needed to stop the cycle of self-loathing, but that was going to come by focusing on Jesus and not myself. I could take great comfort in what he had done for me and the power I had to live with new patterns because of his grace.”

Krista had a team of helpers as she navigated her eating disorder. Whether secular, faith based, medical, or otherwise, in keeping a sound conscience, I would exhort readers to give nothing less than informed consent in any aspect of care. Meaning, understanding what you are committing to, the risks involved, having information to alternative options, and if you do consent, retain the power to withdrawal.

Table For Two provides interactive questions that will guide readers – both sufferers and helpers alike – with Biblical, practical and hope-filled edification.

“By engaging with your loved one, you are inviting them out into the light, you are showing them that you care, and you are reminding them that you are available to listen. They don’t have to suffer alone.”

And although they mentioned that books do not change lives, I would have to diverge a bit. After all, God revealed Himself in a Book. Of course, no book is the Bible, it stands alone. However, Scripture even notes Paul’s instruction to Timothy to ‘bring the books’. {2 Timothy 4:13}

Literature can provide a deep understanding of the human condition. And Table For Two has demonstrated this axiom in this timeless volume that every pastor, counselor and layman alike would do well to have on their bookshelves.

“By recognizing a part of my behavior as it truly was —sin—I then was ready to set up a better plan for fighting against it. I had spent years thinking that I could simply restructure my life with new schedules and mantras and step-by-step plans, all of which focused primarily on behavior and only made me trust in myself more. On their own these things produced failure. It was exposing and humiliating to admit my shortcomings, but by doing so I was able to root out the ugliness I had built up in my heart and begin to replace it with the purity of conformance to God’s Word. And it was better for me to see my actions as sin, because sin has a remedy—the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. The gospel is a complete redemptive rescue mission that could only be fully carried out if I was willing to accept that I was in need of being rescued.”

What do I love about it? It’s practical, biblical, and hopeful. It’s realistic about the need to bring in doctors, dietitians, and a range of professionals. And everything they write is made so compelling by the way their draw on their own stories. If you struggle with an eating disorder or are walking with someone who does, you will want to check it out!

Practical help for uncharted areas of life with eating disorders. The authors are educated and personal!!

As someone who long struggled with a number of a bathroom scale determining if I was happy or sad, fat or thin, okay or not ok- this book offers real biblical relief from an extremely vicious horrific cycle. I will most definitely suggest it to the women I mentor who have similar struggles to my own.

Ever since I was 13, I was horrified by my body. At 20 - i discovered I could seemingly have "the best of both" by bouncing back and forth between binging and purging. By 30, I was being hospitalized. Only in the past 10 years have I learned the truth. That God can fill every space of my heart and offer the rest I've spent years yearning for. I wish I could give this book to my 13 year old self.

I am impressed with the information in this book.

Krista shares her insights from her experience of an eating disorder. She writes about her motives, her drive for perfection, control, and her self-medicating. How she felt about her body defined her worth. There was the isolation from others. And then she faced the hardest thing – telling someone else about her condition. Krista takes us through the hard decisions and the internal and spiritual work that followed.

David, Krista's husband, shares insights about helping those with eating disorders. He writes about knowing the difference between forcing change and encouraging it. He admits there is no silver bullet. He gives great insight into building trust and loving well.

The authors remind us that the decision to change must come from the person with the disorder. It is so important others provide support in that process. Eating disorders thrive in isolation so the involvement of community is very important.

This is a great book for those who have an eating disorder and those who desire to support them. There are thoughtful exercises for the sufferer and the helper. Krista and David share their good decisions and their mistakes so we get a idea of the bumpy road the path to recovery might be. Krista had a team of specialists help her. This book will not provide that level of help but it will get you in the right direction for your journey with valuable insights and practical suggestions.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.